A Choice Between Life and Protocol

I watched a man die because his insurance got declined while I held the medication in my

hand. Three AM in the ER. Blood on my scrubs. Coffee cold.

A forty two year old comes in. Heart attack. Needs a clot buster immediately.

I call it in. Insurance denies it. Too expensive. They want more tests

first. My attending is screaming at someone on the phone. The patient is looking

at me. He knows. I can see it in his eyes. He knows we are

choosing between protocol and his life. I have the drug right there.

In my pocket. Left over from the previous case. Enough to save him. My hand is shaking.