Alexander's Last Toast

POV: You’re the most unstoppable man on earth… until you try to outdrink

Babylon. I’ve conquered half the world, but apparently hydration conquers me.

My stomach’s doing the Macedonian two-step, the room’s spinning harder than my battle formations.

And now I’m mumbling about destiny while my generals stare at me. Like vultures at

a barbecue. Bro, I unified empires. But couldn’t unify my liver with

a glass of water. If I make it out of this,

I’m banning wine forever… Never mind. Good luck dividing the empire,

boys.