Bear Fight Negotiations at 2AM

My roommate just asked me if I'd fight a bear for $50,000. I said absolutely

not, are you insane? He goes, what if the bear's asleep?

Now we're negotiating. I'm like okay maybe if it's sleeping and I get a head start.

He's like no head start but you get a stick. What am I gonna do with a stick

against a bear? He goes, poke it in the eye and run. Now I'm genuinely

considering this. We spent two hours mapping out bear escape routes in our apartment.

Drew diagrams on napkins. Called his cousin who went camping once for bear facts.

Looked up bear speed on Google. Turns out they run 35 miles per hour. I run maybe 8 on