Beige Warrior of Spreadsheet Hell
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It's 9:07 and Ali's already fucked. Christmas jumper on, confidence stuck. Neck bent forward,
eyes full of dread. Looks like Stephen Hawking if HR had won instead.
Screen won't load, mouse gets slammed. "You stupid cunt," whispered, hands jammed.
Time sheets open, veins pop out. Two staff missing minutes and he's losing his fucking
clout. Heartbeat racing like a meth-head mouse. Over 14 minutes Steve forgot to
log out his house. Two team members, two Christ alive. Yet Ali is
acting like the business won't survive. Ali, your spreadsheet nonce, having a breakdown
like Excel fucked your mom once. Sweating, muttering, calling fast lag
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