Buff Raccoon Cooks Swan in My Kitchen

My raccoon just cooked a swan in my kitchen and nobody's talking about it. This buff raccoon

showed up wearing sunglasses and tropical shorts like he owns the place. Muscles everywhere.

Abs for days. He walked straight to my stove and started seasoning a whole swan in

a pan. Just casually sprinkling salt like some celebrity chef. The golden hour

lighting made it look cinematic. He hit this alpha pose mid-cook that had me questioning

reality. This is the most surreal thing I've ever witnessed in my own home.

A jacked raccoon in swim trunks preparing poultry. The confidence was unmatched.

He didn't ask permission, didn't introduce himself, just started his culinary masterpiece.