Call 1-800-SANCTUARY New Year Fix

Attention: Have you or a loved one fallen victim to a mid-New Year's Eve party?

If so, you may be entitled to significant auditory compensation. Have you been exposed

to frequencies which do not move your ass? Do you find yourself wanting more?

Harder? Faster? Is your boyfriend a tech house DJ? Call 1-800-SANCTUARY.

Our certified aural technicians will make sure you enter the new year right. After a brief exposure

to our proprietary method of sonic deliverance, fortified by FDA-approved 8G tower waves,

we guarantee your ears will never be the same again. We'll even knock out one of your

ops, free of charge. Yes, really. Stop by January