Conscience on Strike: Emotional Invoice
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My conscience unionized and now I owe back pay. It started when I ignored that little
voice telling me not to text my ex at 2AM. Next morning, there's an invoice
on my phone. $500 for emotional labor and unheeded advice. I laughed it off
until my guilt about lying to my mom came with a billing statement. Tried negotiating
but my conscience hired a lawyer, which is just me arguing with myself in court.
The judge, also me, ruled in favor of my conscience. Now I pay myself
$30 every time I feel bad about something. My savings account is empty but my conscience just
bought a timeshare. Weirdest part? My intrusive thoughts are demanding overtime.
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