Crack a Can of Pork Soda

Now listen up. You know you come home from the 925 and lay down

on the burgundy couch, you know. Was it really was burgundy?

It was red, and you painted it with a gosh darn sprinkler and now you

got bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time you sit on

it. You never tell your family. You never tell your family because,

you know, old Junior got no brain, so what can you do?

What can you do? Crack yourself a can of pork soda.

You will be feeling just fine. There ain't nothing like sitting around the house