Day Two Resolution Collapse

January 1st, I was a golden god. Drinking kale smoothies even though they

tasted odd. I hit the gym at 5:00. I ran a steady mile.

Looked at a donut and gave a judge-y smile. The laundry was folded.

The kitchen was clean. I was the most disciplined human you've ever seen.

But then came day two when the magic just died. I traded my

salad for something deep-fried. By 10:00 in the morning the new me was

gone. I'm back in my bathrobe, still scrolling since dawn.

Rest in peace, resolutions. You had a good run. But self-improvement just