Diversity Over Merit: A Satirical Take

Welcome aboard Flight 420 to Competency. Your captain today has twelve hours on Microsoft Flight

Sim and identifies as “aerogender.” copilot. Got the job 'cause the algorithm

said we needed more purple-haired non-binaries. He's never seen a cockpit, but his pronouns

are in the safety video. Priorities. The surgeon cracking your chest tomorrow,

top of her class in interpretive dance and systemic whiteness studies, bottom of actual

med school, but her skin color checks the box, cutie.

Equality of outcome, baby, merit is dead. We hired the best

person who fits the spreadsheet instead. If the bridge collapses or the plane falls out