Dumped for a Sourdough Jar

Yo chat, listen up, I am actually COOKED. You won’t believe who my girl left

me for. It wasn’t a dude. It wasn’t even a bear. It was a literal

jar of sourdough named Fabio. NO CAP. I walk into the kitchen at 3 AM,

right? And she’s there, whispering to this jar of goop. She’s giving him

that Lvl 100 stare. I’m like, "Yo, what is this?" And she looks me

dead in the eye and says, "Don’t be jealous, bro. Fabio has W Rizz.

He’s a Sigma. You? You’re just a beta NPC with zero drip." I tried to argue,

but then the bread started bubbling and I swear it sounded like Skibidi Dop Dop.