Embrace Your Main-Character Moment

“STOP. SCROLLING. ✋ You. Yes YOU. I have something

VERY important to tell you—” “Your life? It’s about to CHANGE in like… three and

a half seconds. Watch.” “Step one: drink water. Step two: literally

do anything. Step three: pretend you have your life together until it becomes REAL.

Fake it so hard the universe gets confused.” “Because listen—if no one else believes

in you… baby I unironically do. Me. A voice from the internet.

Your new emotional support algorithm entity.” “Now straighten your back.

Fix your posture. Unclench your jaw. Stop doomscrolling— AFTER this video, obviously.”