Flirting with the Shower Head

This morning I turned on the shower like a normal human. Woda leci, para,

chill… Nagle słyszę głos: “Mmm, hot water? Just like you,

big boy.” I nearly died. My shower head was flirting with me. I’m standing there

like a wet chicken nugget, and it keeps going: “Come closer… let me massage your

soul, baby.” Bro. It’s water pressure. CALM DOWN.

I grab the shampoo and it yells: “NOT THE MENTHOL ONE, YOU PSYCHO!

IT BURNS MY HOLES!” At this point I’m arguing with bathroom hydraulics like an idiot.

Then the shower head suddenly whispers: “Hey… wydasz mnie do pralki? Ona ma bęben jak