Funeral Fiasco: A Comedy of Errors

So my girlfriend and I were at her cousin’s funeral, right? Very sad,

very serious. I tripped over the casket and somehow kissed the corpse’s hand instead of

hers. Everyone gasped. My girlfriend screamed. I panicked, grabbed what I thought

was a bouquet, and accidentally hit the priest in the face. Then the priest,

bleeding but alive, looked at me and whispered: “You’re lucky I like chaos.” I tried apologizing…

but my shoelace got stuck on a tombstone, I fell into the grave, and my foot landed

in the coffin. Everyone screamed again, I waved, and honestly?

It was probably the best funeral I’ve ever attended. Now my girlfriend calls me “the Grim