Gangster Raccoon Night Encounter

“You will not believe what happened last night… I was walking home when I saw a raccoon…

wearing sunglasses. Not like a cute little accessory—it looked straight-up gangster.

And it wasn’t alone. There were three more, all carrying tiny backpacks.

Next thing I know, they start marching down the street in formation. I’m frozen,

thinking, ‘Am I hallucinating?’ Then the lead raccoon stops, looks me dead in

the eye, and tosses me a peanut. Like… here’s your bribe,

human, now move along. I blinked, and just like that… they disappeared

into the shadows, probably planning some secret raccoon heist. Moral of the story?