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Hawaiian Punch Man on Campus
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Created December 27, 2025About this video
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Video Transcript
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0:05
He woke up late in a rental car outside a dorm in Provo.
0:11
The left side of his neck went like a tiki bar went loco.
0:17
Doctor said, "Sir, you'll be fine," and then ran out of the
0:21
room. And now he's spraying fruit punch sideways like a lawn sprinkler of
0:27
doom. He's got a necktie made of gauze and a stain
0:32
he can't explain. Every time he sneezes once, there's a luau in the lane.
0:39
Gee, whiz, I hope these Utah college kids don't get their
0:44
shirts stained red. I swear it's just Hawaiian Punch. Not blood, not juice,
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