Humorous Observations on Life

The human brain is amazing. It works 24/7 until you try to remember why you walked into

a room. I told myself I should stop drinking, but I’m not about to start taking

advice from a drunk. I’m great at multitasking. I can listen, ignore and forget all at once.

I’m not saying I’m old, but my birth certificate says “expired.” My favorite childhood

memory is not paying bills. I finally realized people are prisoners of their phones;

that’s why it’s called a “cell.” I asked Google for self-help. It replied,

“You’re beyond my capabilities.” I’m not saying I’m clumsy, but I just fell

for myself again. I tried to be normal once. It was the worst five minutes of