Illusions of Self and Reality

I ignored my inner voice for the first time in my life. Why am I observing my suidcide?

Am I trying to show myself a way to change the inevitable? If that's the case, who the fuck is

the voice in my head wanting me to commit suicide if Consciousness wants me to live.

That means the voice in my head, the one I believed to be me, is the one who's

been creating my reality in the present moment all this time, and it's not even

me? So, if I am not me, who the fuck am I?

This means my entire life is an illusion. We are not creating our reality, our beliefs,

stories, programs & conditioning have been creating reality all this time.