Inside the Whale: A Review

“Hi, I’m Jonah, and I just stayed inside a whale. Yes,

a whale. Not exactly the luxury experience I was hoping for. The amenities?

Dark, wet, and smelled like expired sushi left in a gym bag.

Lighting? Nonexistent. Room service? Never answered — probably busy digesting.

I even tried opening a window… nope. No windows. Just stomach walls. Food options were

limited: fish, every meal, every day. Security was excellent though — no sharks

got in, so there’s that. Overall, I’d give it 2 stars. Would I stay again?

Only if absolutely desperate. Subscribe for more badly told Bible stories.”