John Deere X67 Dolphin Aquatic Mower Parody

Have you heard about the new John Deere lawn mower that mows on WATER?

It is called the X67 Dolphin. For years, homeowners have been

limited by the shores of their property. But no more. We have combined

our classic zero-turn technology with the soul of a dolphin. Built with a

reinforced fiberglass hull and our signature twin-blade system, it delivers the most ridiculous aquatic

performance ever seen. Look at those patterns. It creates perfect lawn stripes,

straight into the wake of the machine. It is the precision of a

suburb, in the middle of a lake. Because let us be honest,