Kevin the Custodian Gets In

Warning: Your eternal soul is at stake and only five humans get past the gates of Agartha.

First pick, Jason Ryan struts in because apparently confidence alone grants immortality.

Next, Joshua Reposa, the guy who definitely knows someone on the inside.

Then Dr Govier arrives with a briefcase full of credentials that somehow matter in the afterlife.

But here's the twist nobody saw coming. The final spot goes to Kevin the custodian, because while everyone

else was busy being important, Kevin was actually cleaning up their messes.

The gatekeeper took one look at his mop and said welcome home. Turns out the meaning

of life was literally just being useful the whole time. Kevin wins existence while the philosophers