Marge Simpson’s Toilet Rules

If you walk into your bathroom at 2 AM and see Marge Simpson scrubbing your toilet,

stay calm. The sponge in her hand is alive, and it's begging for help.

Rule one, wait until she dunks it back into the bowl. That's your moment.

Grab it fast but don't let water hit the floor. One drop and she'll drown you in that

same toilet until your legs stop moving. Rule two, sprint to the kitchen sink.

Turn on cold water and rinse it clean. It'll cough up blue liquid and whisper instructions.

Listen carefully. Don't respond. Rule three, look at the counter. There's a cereal

box you don't remember buying. Open it. Something pink and alive is stuffed