Neon Duct Tape Car Thief

So it's 3:00 in the morning and my roommates and I are in the middle of a serious high-stakes

Mario Kart tournament. Suddenly, my buddy Kyle looks at the security cam feed on his

phone and freezes. Some guy is in our driveway trying to pick the lock on my old beat-up

Honda Civic. Now, we could have called the cops, but we'd been drinking

espresso martinis all night, and honestly, we were feeling a little extra.

I whispered, "Don't scare him off. Get the hammock." We snuck out the

back door barefoot like a bunch of budget ninjas. While the guy was focused on the car

door, we came around the side and four of us tackled him into a giant heavy-duty