Santa Fires Head Elf Bernard
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Santa just fired his head elf after 847 years and the recording leaked. Bernard walked into
Santa's office expecting his annual review. Instead, Santa dropped a bombshell.
The toy production numbers were down 40 percent. Kids were asking for things elves
couldn't make anymore. Gaming consoles, smartphones, electric scooters. Bernard argued they
needed to modernize the workshop, hire younger elves who understood technology. Santa refused.
He wanted to keep making wooden trains and dolls like the good old days. The argument got
heated. Bernard called him outdated. Santa said Bernard lost the Christmas
spirit. Then Bernard said something that ended it all. He told Santa that
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