Squirrels vs Your Winter Life

Ever wonder how squirrels survive winter while you’re single, fat,

broke, and your fucking hoodie isn’t cutting it? Squirrels spend

fall hoarding nuts like tiny furry fucking bankers. Their storage game is on point.

Meanwhile, your fridge is empty, your dating life is emptier, and the only nuts

you’re hoarding are peanut butter ones… and even those are running out. Their fur is thick,

fluffy, and basically a built-in thermal suit. Your subcutaneous

fat isn’t enough to keep you warm, your hoodie is failing, and your body heat is mostly wasted

on regretting life choices. Squirrels have strong hind legs and elastic tendons that act