The Art of Waiting: A Performance Lecture

n Master Baiter: Top 3 Secrets of Performance Art (Number 1 Will Shock You),

I walk onstage like a serious lecturer and announce that I’ll be presenting “the top 3 secrets

of performance art,” urging the audience to stay until the end because “number one is basically

banned in most university syllabi.” I begin with Secret #3, “the body as material,” referencing Marina

Abramović, but immediately interrupt myself with influencer-style urgency: “before

I explain that, please smash that like button—87% of you are attending this lecture without

subscribing to conceptual art.” I never return to the explanation before skipping to Secret #2,

“the art is what the audience does,” linking it to Cage’s 4’33”, but again I stop