The Faux Gangster

He struts around like he’s the king of the streets, but really he’s the guy who calls

Monopoly a “gang war” and thinks Steal a Brain Rot is a legitimate gang initiation.

Every time he tries to act tough, you half-expect him to pull out a calculator instead

of a weapon. His hoodie’s too clean, his “tattoos” are just pen doodles,

and his gangsta rap is more like a lullaby for confused squirrels. Basically,

he’s the only gangster who’d get jumped in a video game… and lose.