The Illusion of Charity

It's that sacred time of year when heroes rise at last. When mighty men

grow patchy fluff upon their upper lip and chin so fast. Bro,

I'm doing it for cancer, this mustache is really deep. Says the guy

who spent his charity fund on protein shakes and Jeep. Instagram is flooded

with day three of my noble stubble. Can't pronounce the illness name,

but he's raising major trouble. Caption, let's start a convo,

tagged with 20 humble brags and a donation link he never clicks

but pins beneath his thirst trap picks and flags. No Shave November,