The Lasagna Investigation
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So I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend “Lina” (24F) for about eight months. She’s smart,
sarcastic, beautiful, and terrifying in the way a cat looks at a bird feeder.
I’ve always known she was… intense, but this week confirmed it. The Incident™
Three days ago, someone stole my lunch at work. Not a big deal normally, but this was my
leftover lasagna, which Lina made and guards like a dragon guards treasure.
I texted her: Me: “Someone took my lasagna 😭” Lina: “Who.” Me: “I don’t know?”
Lina: “Give me 10 minutes.” I thought she was joking. She was not joking.
She Arrives. With a Plan. Lina shows up to my job unannounced, in full “I’m not
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