The Lasagna Investigation

So I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend “Lina” (24F) for about eight months. She’s smart,

sarcastic, beautiful, and terrifying in the way a cat looks at a bird feeder.

I’ve always known she was… intense, but this week confirmed it. The Incident™

Three days ago, someone stole my lunch at work. Not a big deal normally, but this was my

leftover lasagna, which Lina made and guards like a dragon guards treasure.

I texted her: Me: “Someone took my lasagna 😭” Lina: “Who.” Me: “I don’t know?”

Lina: “Give me 10 minutes.” I thought she was joking. She was not joking.

She Arrives. With a Plan. Lina shows up to my job unannounced, in full “I’m not