The Worst Origin Story

The year is 1981 and you're just a baby lying in your crib. Your parents are

downstairs when suddenly the front door explodes inward. A bald guy with no nose shows up

and decides to murder your entire family for reasons you won't understand for like 11 years.

He kills your dad, kills your mom, and then tries to kill you, but the spell bounces

off your forehead because apparently your mom's love created a protection so powerful it works

like a magical restraining order. You survive with a cool lightning bolt scar,

and the dark wizard gets vaporized. Sounds like a win, right? Wrong.