Worst Things Overheard While Pretending Asleep

What is the worst thing you've overheard while pretending to be asleep? When I was a kid,

I used to be scared of monsters or something creeping up on me in my sleep, so I would always

ask my dad to check on me before he went to bed. It made me feel more comfortable.

One night, I was still awake when I heard him coming up the stairs, and I wasn't supposed

to be awake and knew I would get in trouble if he saw me. So I pretended to

be asleep. He came into my room and just kinda stared at me for a few seconds,

then came up close to my bed, lifted the blanket up, farted under it.

turned around and left. It's been at least 15 years and I remember that night vividly.