AITA for "leading on" three men?

AITA for “leading on” three different men when I’m just trying to survive? I (F,33) am a Handmaid,

means my entire job is to have a baby for my boss, the Commander so were forced to have

yk - it- while i lay in between his wife legs which is hella awkward. The commander has

driver named Nick and hes so fine shyt and i dont like sleeping with old men so i started

sleeping with bick bc hes so hot but also so that we can also try to make a baby.

on top of that I’m still 1000% in love with my actual husband who I was with before this whole country

turned into a cult. I don’t even know if he’s alive but the chokehold that man still has on

me is genuinely unreal. Everyday i do nothing but im so sore from my nightly actvites.