Chaos and Carbs: A Memorable Date

So I invited this cute girl over for dinner. I cleaned my whole apartment—like,

even the “don’t open that” drawer. Everything was perfect. Until my dog decided it was chaos o’clock.

She walked in, smiled, and said, “Aww, your dog is adorable!”

Right on cue, he sprinted across the room with my underwear in his mouth.

My bright red superhero underwear. I chased him. He thought it was a game.

She thought it was hilarious. I thought about evaporating. I finally grabbed

them, turned around… and she was filming me. “For memories,”

she said. Then my dog jumped onto the table… and ate the garlic bread I made for