Happy 18th Birthday, Best Boyfriend!
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Happy level-18 unlock to the best boyfriend I could ever ask for omg??? Like how did I pull
YOU with my Walmart wifi personality 😭 I’m so excited to see the man you’re
gonna grow into and all the goals you’re gonna accomplish — I already know you’re about to
speedrun adulthood like a world-record attempt while I’m in the background like GO BABY GO
waving a foam finger and eating Hot Cheetos. And listen… just because you’re 18 now does NOT mean
it’s “shake that ass on TikTok LIVE for 12 viewers and a dream” time. LOCK 👏 THE 👏 FLIP
👏 IN 👏 KING. (But also if you do shake it… I’ll respectfully throw money like a supportive
girlfriend.) I’m so proud of you, even if my last two remaining braincells
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