PB&J: The Secret to Longevity

“STOP everything. Seriously — put down the kale, drop the celery juice,

and hold onto your eyebrows, because the University of Michigan just announced that the

number-one food for living longer is… a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Yes.

PB&J. The lunchbox classic. The nostalgia king. The thing you ditched because Karen on

Facebook told you bread is ‘toxic.’ Meanwhile — and truly no one is surprised — hot

dogs are over here subtracting minutes off your life like they’re personally offended you exist.

If hot dogs were a person, they’d be that toxic ex who shows up at 2 AM and ruins

your entire week. So why PB&J? Well, peanut butter is basically protein