Satellite Fight Night in Orbit

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to **SATELLITE FIGHT NIGHT**, the only combat sport where nobody

has fists, everybody has antennas, and NASA is screaming into a headset like, “WHO AUTHORIZED

THIS?!” Tonight’s main event: **GPS SATELLITE vs COMMUNICATIONS SATELLITE**

Sponsored by *Bad Math* and *We Thought Space Was Empty*. These satellites been floating for

years like, “Good evening, Earth. I deliver weather data.”

“Oh yeah? I deliver Wi-Fi, BRO.” Tension building. Orbit getting spicy.

🌶️ And BOOM— someone drifts **two inches too close**. Now it’s personal.

Solar panels start flaring like MMA elbows. Antennas swinging like drunken pool