Say This, Not That: Better Feedback

And number three, isolate the behavior, not the person. And this is the core psychological

mechanism here. People collapse when feedback feels personal, and they thrive

when the feedback feels directional. So for example, instead of, "You're not clear,"

try, "When the explanation gets longer, people start losing the thread."

Or instead of, "You didn't prepare," use, "Let's tighten the preparation process

so you can walk in more confidently." Instead of, "You're being too aggressive," shift

to, "Let's notice how the tone lands. Let's test a version that gets people

leaning in instead of bracing." Behavioral feedback keeps their identity intact and opens