The Friend Who Never Stops Talking

Bro. Every group has that ONE friend who just… never stops talking.

Like ever. I swear I’ll be mid-game, locked in, final boss energy,

and they’re like, “Yo this reminds me of a story—” NO IT DOESN’T. WHY ARE WE HERE.

They narrate EVERYTHING. If they’re quiet for two seconds, I start checking their pulse.

And it’s always random stuff too. Childhood memories, conspiracy theories, their opinions on

cereal milk. Meanwhile I’m giving one-word replies like “yeah” and “crazy” hoping they

catch the hint. They don’t. Ever. At this point I’m not listening,

I’m just surviving. My brain is buffering.