The Noisy Neighbor Who Doesn't Exist

“Ever wonder why your upstairs neighbor sounds like they’re training for the Olympics at 2 AM?

Well… what if I told you they don’t exist?” So I moved into this super cheap

apartment—like, suspiciously cheap. The kind of cheap where you expect either a ghost or

a rat to be your roommate. Every night, I kept hearing footsteps right above me.

Not normal footsteps—these were heavy, like someone was dragging a whole cowboy who refused

to leave the saloon. So I asked the landlord, “Hey, who’s living upstairs? Because they walk

like they owe me money.” He looks at me like I just asked him to pay my rent and

says, “Uh… no one. That unit’s been empty for a month.” Great.