The Phantom Shitter Strikes Again

So, I work at a restaurant, and the other night we had this sweet elderly couple come

in for dinner. They finished their meal, and the gentleman excused himself

to the restroom. No big deal, right? Well, he was in there

for like, and hour until his wife finally went in to retrieve him. Fast forward a few

hours—now we're closing up, and it’s my turn to clean the bathroom. I walk in,

and oh my gosh, the horror. The toilet was clogged to the brim with poop,

the trash can was overflowing with paper towels smeared with—you guessed it—poop,

and there was poop on the floor. And the smell. Oh, the smell.