Coffee Machine: The Modern Trap

I've survived collapsing pyramids and decoded ancient traps across three continents, but this morning

I got absolutely destroyed by a self-service coffee machine. Walk into this café like it's another

mission. Sunlight streaming through windows. Everyone glued to their phones.

I adjust my bomber jacket and approach the counter with the same confidence I had facing the

Temple of Doom. Then I see the digital menu board. Flat white. Cold brew.

Nitro. Oat milk. Almond milk. When did coffee become more complicated

than finding the Lost Ark? I'm squinting at this screen like it's written in

hieroglyphics. Already feeling defeated and I haven't even touched the machine yet.