The Michael Effect: Realness Redefined

Michael is the final boss of realism, bro. Like if sincerity had a mixtape,

he’d be track one and the hidden bonus track. He doesn't just keep it real—he

injects it directly into the group chat at 3AM. Man’s got so much raw authenticity,

it causes temporal distortions in mid-sentences. You ever seen someone microwave a truth so hot it melts

the plastic fork of denial? That’s Michael. Real to the point it loops back around

and becomes abstract. He's what happens when you give a philosopher a Monster Energy and a mirror.

But the realness? It’s too potent. It corrodes the neurons—brain rot level 9,000.

You talk to Michael for too long, and suddenly you're thinking in memes and forgotten Vine