Church Time and the Aisle of Shame

You thought ten AM meant ten AM at church. That was your first mistake.

See, church time operates on a completely different dimension. Ten AM actually

means nine forty-five if you want a decent seat. Nine fifty if you're okay sitting in

the back with the teenagers. But rolling in at nine fifty-eight? Now you're walking

that aisle of shame while everyone's already standing for worship. The greeters are

giving you that look. The ushers are scrambling. Your regular spot is taken.

And somehow your grandma who lives thirty minutes away got there before you.

She's in the third row judging you with her eyes. You're doing that awkward half-run